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Be More to Achieve More: How Expanding Your Potential Expands Your Possibilities by Jen Groover
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Nov 21, 2023
Watch the first session of Women in Tech Virtual Conference by Jen Groover who talks about different pillars of success - Envision, Believe, Remove,Internationally, the more method and a lot more. C# Corner - Global Community of Software and Data developers https://www.c-sharpcorner.com Conference Website: https://www.2020twenty.net/womenintech #Cshaprcorner #womeintech #success #virtual #conference #girpower
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0:00
Thank you
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Good. I'm coming live from the Jersey Shore right now where we spend weekends in the summer to escape the heat that you're talking about
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For sure. Really great to have you and thank you so much for coming
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Thank you. I'm excited to be here and share all this information with everybody to kick off the conference and get everyone in the right mindset to absorb and get more of everything they desire in life
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perfect so the next 45 minutes are all yours okay fantastic hi everybody i am i'm excited to share
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all of this information with you today uh we are going to be talking about the more method
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uh the simple formula to get more of everything that you desire in life and the more method is
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information that uh is a culmination of over 20 plus years of teaching human potential
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and this is my culmination of my life work. I had a really tumultuous childhood which is so much of
2:05
my inspiration of what I do today. My dad was a highly functioning but very abusive alcoholic
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My mom was constantly trying to keep the family together and there is a lot of trauma that
2:19
happened throughout my childhood. And so throughout my life, I've always had a lot of
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compassion and empathy and trying to help others not be in the same type of pain I was as a child
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So when I went to college, I started studying psychology. And it was the first time in my life
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that I realized that this information could change not just my life, but change the world
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And it became my obsession and my passion of understanding because once I started to understand
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the psychology of how people think, I started to realize that my dad was just perpetuating the pain
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from his childhood and the generation before that and so on. And so I understood that every single
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person should be empowered with this information from day one. And it became my life work and
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mission to share with other people. After college, well, while I was in college, I also continued to
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study nutrition and physiology. After college, I became a national level fitness competitor and
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traveling the world, spreading the awareness and mission of the fitness movement, which is
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very common today. But in the mid 90s, it was something very new. So I would constantly bring
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together the background of my degree in psychology and education with the physiology and nutrition
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which you're going to learn about today. And then I continued studying with some of the most
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incredible mentors in the world around mindset training, which basically is taking everything
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that I learned in psychology and making it more applicable to life. How to really control your mind and overcome your inner roadblocks to excel in the outer
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life, in your outside life. And so I'm going to share a lot of that information with you today as well
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How to basically master your life so you master your mind so you master your life
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And when you learn this information, it's like becoming Yoda to your own life and a Jedi to everybody else's life
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And it's really powerful in getting not only control of your life, but mastery of your life
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So beyond that, I continued my education and learning quantum physics, metaphysics and neuroscience
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constantly seeking how do we become the most optimal versions of ourselves
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And that's what the more method is. How do we take all of these different disciplines and become our most optimal version of ourselves
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Because much like Gandhi would say, be the change you wish to see in the world
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As we become more, as we become our best version self, everything that we desire in life becomes more as well
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We become more successful. We become happier. We become healthier. We become more fulfilled
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all the things that people constantly seek outside of themselves for begins with ourselves
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So the first question I want to ask you and really want you to think about is what is it that you want more of
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What do you want more of in life? And I want you to think unconventionally here right now
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Don't just think of the goals that you traditionally write down all the time
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But what is it that you want more of? This is a different question than a goal question
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What is it that you want more of? So I just mentioned about my traumatic childhood
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So one of the biggest goals in my adult life has always been inner peace, having peace
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no drama, no chaos, keeping life calm. That is a high quality to me
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That is a high achievement for me. That's the greatest achievement I have of all the things that I've done is creating
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a life with much inner peace and harmony, calmness. So what is it for you that you desire to have more of
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I know people always will say time and money. That's definitely on most people's list
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But what else is it for you? And I want to pause just for a moment for you to put pen to paper and write down those things
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There's something psychologically that happens. It's way more powerful than you just thinking about those things
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But when you actually put your pen to the paper and write down three to five things that you want more of
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Again, think unconventionally here and be honest with who you are and what you really value
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A lot of times people will say more travel. People will say more time freedom, more financial freedom
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Now, the reason I ask this question is because goal setting is something that's more from our place of our ego
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Often we set these goals because we think they sound good or we set goals because it's what our parents wanted us to do
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Or we set goals because it's what our boss wants from us. But they're not actually true to who we are
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So throughout life, we're constantly working to these goals that aren't really authentic to who we are, what we truly desire
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And this is where a lot of people will wake up in their 30s, 40s and 50s and find that
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although they accomplished a lot they still really unhappy And that to me one of the worst things for people to live a life that while they still achieving or doing things moving towards goals
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that they're still unfulfilled and happy. But it usually begins because they weren't actually
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honest with themselves as what they truly desire in life, what they want more of
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There's three key reasons people usually don't get more of what they desire in life
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The first one is clarity. That's why I asked you that question to begin with
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They actually aren't even clear as to what it is they want more of
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So they're working towards these goals that actually aren't even alignment with what they truly desire
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And so when you're doing that, you're constantly going to self-sabotage throughout your life
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So getting clarity as to what people want more of is the first step to getting more of what you desire in life
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the second reason people don't get more of what they desire in life is because when they were
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younger they had these dreams or goals and they let themselves down at some point or they didn't
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achieve the goal that they set out for so they start to minimize their goals and diminish who
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they are because of it because they're afraid to let themselves down again but when we do that
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we're going to let ourselves down throughout the rest of our lives because we've now minimized who
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we are. And we're never going to achieve big things if we don't believe in our ability and
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our capability to achieve those things. So you can't achieve big goals without setting big goals
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You can't have big desires without allowing big desires for yourself. So the second reason people
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don't get more of what they desire in life is because they've minimized what they're searching
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for, not in a truthful way, but in a dishonest way that lacks self-confidence
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And the third reason people don't get more of what they desire in life is not because
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they're not working towards it, not because they don't have goals, but because they just
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don't know what they don't know. What I mean by that is that understanding human behavior is one of the most important
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things to becoming successful. However, most people aren't taught this in school
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I believe we all should be learning this when we very first start school so that we can understand who we are so we can accomplish more of what we desire in life
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But people don't know what they don't know, meaning that one of the biggest things we're going to talk about today is that we often have beliefs that sabotage us from becoming successful
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We don't even realize that we have these beliefs. These beliefs are usually programmed before we are seven years of age
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Did you know about 80% of your subconscious mind is programmed by the time you are seven
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years of age? Crazy, right? So I'm going to break this down for you a little bit more
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About 80% of your subconscious mind is programmed by the time you're seven
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And then we have our conscious mind and subconscious mind. 80% of what we do every day is coming from our subconscious minds
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And we don't even know. We can't even see into our subconscious mind because it's subconscious, unconscious
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But it's running the show and we don't even realize it. And so if we could learn to understand how to really audit, extract, evaluate our conscious mind and our subconscious mind by understanding our beliefs
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we can start to change our behaviors because your beliefs are attached to your behaviors
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And so what we're going to talk about today is really how to extract and understand those
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beliefs that hold us back. Because when I share with you the fact that about 80% of your subconscious
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mind was programmed by the time you're seven, we now need to start to understand who our programmers
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were. Our programmers by the age of seven are usually our parents, our grandparents, our teachers
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our community, our religion, what we're watching on television. And so what were those beliefs that
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were being programmed are going to affect every aspect of your life? The beliefs create habits
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habits create outcomes. So we're going to dive into that a little bit more as we go along
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But first, here is a foundation of all success. This formula right here, this framework is something that I learned from my mindset trainers over 20 years ago that taught me how to replicate success over and over again
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this formula right here is the foundation of all success in order to be more successful in order to
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get more of everything we desire in life we must first envision what it is again why i asked you
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what do you want more of because if you're not clear as to what it is that you truly desire for
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your life you will be running in aimless circles to try and get from where you are to where you
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want to go, but you really don't even know where you're going. It's like driving without a map on
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or without having an app to tell you where to go. So you're just driving aimlessly around. And that
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is so many people in life. So getting really clear as to what it is that you desire, and then envision
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it every day. This is such a powerful strategy that is so simple, but most people never even
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know to use it. Did you know professional athletes use this strategy in order to become professional
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athletes and Olympic athletes? They envision it before they become it. Michael Phelps
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how many gold medals does he have? He envisioned that before. He envisioned every race before it
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happens. He sees it through. There is a deep psychological process that happens when we
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actually envision our success first. So envision not just in your mind, but emotionally connect
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to that vision. And it puts energetic power out into the world. It's called quantum physics
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Something that's really powerful for you to look up is the observer theory. Just Google observer
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theory when we're done here today. And you'll watch a video. There's one that's a cartoon
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It's very simple. Quantum physics 101. And it teaches you how powerful your thoughts are putting out the energy into the universe
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That's not woo woo stuff at all. It is quantum physics. And if you understand observer theory, I promise you, you will become a lot more careful of the thoughts that you put out into the world around you
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but begin each day by envisioning how great the day is going to be envisioning what your life is
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going to be like that week that month that year envision it and emotionally connect to it daydreaming
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is actually a really powerful strategy a really powerful thing that we can do every day luckily
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when I was a kid I did it all the time I would actually get in trouble in school for daydreaming
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all the time. But so much of what I dreamt of my life to be as a child is exactly what it is today
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The next thing is we must believe we are worthy and capable of having what we desire
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Ladies that are here listening this is one of our biggest problems and challenges and obstacles to overcome Believing that we are worthy and capable of having whatever it is that we desire
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In 2006, when I was launching my butler bag company, I recognized that women were creating
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less than 1% of the wealth in the United States of America, less than 1% of the wealth
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That was probably a global number as well, but I was yzing the data in the United States
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I thought it was crazy. How is that even possible that we're creating less than 1% of the wealth
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That's not job caps at all. This is wealth creation. This is female entrepreneurs
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And at that time, women were graduating equally from men from universities
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And also, they were starting 2.5 to 1 businesses than men. So they're starting more businesses
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Why is it that we're creating less than 1% of the wealth in the United States of America
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So my psychology mind needed to figure this out. And what I realized is that women still had a lot of deep subconscious programming about
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becoming successful and what that meant. A lot of women thought, if I'm too successful, I'm not going to be a good parent
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If I'm too successful, I'm not going to be a good partner, spouse. If I'm too successful, my friends aren't going to like me anymore
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That's a real big one, by the way. Self-sabotage because our friends aren't going to like us is absolutely crazy, right
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Because we're going to minimize who we are so that other people accept us
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But that's a really big one. Another one is if I'm too successful, people are going to think that I'm not nice
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I'm going to have to change who I am and be me. That's not true at all
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We can be really successful and really kind and make incredible impact
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So when I realized this, I set a goal for myself as I was launching the Butler bag company
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that I was going to make it a million dollar company in the first year of business using
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the principles that I'm sharing with you today. That was a crazy thought process
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It wasn't even logical. 2006, way before social media was what it is and before technology and the technology
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platforms are what they are in one of the most brand demanded industries in the world
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handbag industry where all of my competitors had deep pockets to spend on marketing. And here I am
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never created a handbag company in my life saying I'm going to make it a million dollars in the
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first year of business. But I wanted to do it because I wanted to break this belief system
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about success and be a model for other women. And so when we set these goals, sometimes when we make
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them bigger than just us, it puts more power to them. And for me, I wanted my success not just to
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be for me, but for everybody else that I could impact along the way. And so just shy of two weeks
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of the first year, we hit 1 million in sales. So I thought to myself, well, that's amazing
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That's amazing. I might as well just take that same formula and set a bigger goal for 10 million
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in the second year. And just one week shy of the second year, we hit 10 million in sales. Again
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with the same formulas that I'm sharing with you right now. I had to envision what it is that I
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wanted. I had to envision what my life was going to be like on that journey every day. I had to
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believe that I was worthy and capable of achieving that goal. And I had to remove the beliefs and
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behaviors that were blocking me. I had to change beliefs that I had from my childhood programming
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My dad was born very poor. He had what I call a scarcity mindset. He projected that scarcity
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mindset on us. There was always fighting around money. There was always this sense of there's not
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enough to go around. There was always this manipulation around money. My dad would make
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us squirm every time we asked for something that we needed, even if we needed it for school
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So I had to do a lot of reprogramming in order to become successful
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Again, something I'm going to share with you in just a little bit more down the presentation
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so that you can understand how to change the beliefs that are blocking you from your success
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And then I had to every day take intentional action to move closer to my goals
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Every day I needed to be doing something that was getting me closer to what it was that I desired
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And so that formula right there, envisioning what you want, believing you're worthy and capable of having it, removing the beliefs and behaviors that block you from getting closer to your success and taking intentional action is a formula that can be used over and over and over again
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To finish my story about wealth creation, by the way, 10 years later, 2016, women were still creating less than 3% of the wealth in the United States of America
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Now, that was a 2% increase, but why? That's crazy when you actually think about it
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Because at that point, women were graduating more than men from universities, starting 3.5 to 1 businesses to men
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Why was that still happening? Why this huge disparity? Logic doesn't align, but belief systems is the main reason why
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And until we change our belief system of what we are worthy and capable of having
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what's possible for us, and what success looks like, we will continue to have that disparity
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as a gender until it all changes. Now, the framework of the MORE method, building on that
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last formula is something that we're going to break down as we go through this. But this again
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also is something that you can use over and over and over again. Success is like taking off in a
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hot air balloon. When you decide, I want to get to the next level, I want to keep growing, keep
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evolving, keep becoming my best version self. Think about when you take off in a hot air balloon
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you're on the ground, and you have all these sandbags holding the hot air balloon down
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In order to get off the ground, you have to take out some of the hot air. I mean, some of the sandbags
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The sandbags are symbolic of your stuff. Get rid of your stuff, meaning the beliefs and behaviors that block you
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So you take out some of the sandbags. You start to go up a little bit and you think, wow, this is amazing
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I never knew that there were so many trees in Central Park because we had only been looking
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at the world from the perspective of the ground. seeing the buildings more so than the trees. So the perspective changes. Our perspective
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continues to change as we change. So now you're seeing the world differently because you've gotten
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rid of some of these beliefs and behaviors that blocked you. So then you start to hover
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That's where we start to get comfortable and complacent. Complacency is the thief of passion
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Complacency is the thief of passion. A lot of people get really complacent life and then they
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feel stuck. They feel lost. They feel disconnected. It's because they are not now connected to their
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passion. Growth equals happiness. The more we continue to grow and evolve, the happier we will
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be throughout the rest of our lives And so here we are now hovering And in order to get to the next level of where we want to go we need to reevaluate and get rid of more stuff more sandbags We have to
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continue this process throughout our elevation of growth by up leveling in our lives. It's a
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constant auditing process, an evaluation process of life. And that's what the more method really is
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is not this path of perfection, but a greater, more conscious course of life so that we can
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continuously course correct when we get off course. We can only do that when we're becoming
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more adept to evaluating where we are on a regular basis, which is the first part of the
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more method. Mindfulness. In order to become more successful, we have to become more mindful of where
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we are today and where we are tomorrow. Mindfulness is the foundation so that we can start to evaluate
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where we are and where we want to go. We can evaluate what behaviors that we have today
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that need to change for a better tomorrow. The next part is optimization of body and brain
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When we optimize our physiological states, we will optimize our mental and emotional state
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This is time hacking, by the way. A lot of people in that what you want more of probably said time
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I'm going to teach you how to leverage time. I'm going to teach you how to time hack by optimizing your physiological state
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The next is R, which is responsive versus reactive lifestyle. In order to get more of everything you desire in life, you must learn how to become more emotionally intelligent
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which means you learn how to respond to life instead of react to life
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That is how you evolve. That is how you have more deeply connected relationships
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That's how you become Yoda to your own life and a Jedi to everybody else's life
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And lastly, the E in the more method is learning how to excel in every aspect of life
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This is what I call holistic success. we can approach life and our success by approaching in a holistic way a lot of people just think
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success is professional achievement that's only one part if you think of the whole circle and one
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quarter of that is your professional achievement another quarter of it is your health and well-being
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Another quarter of it is your relationships. And the other quarter is your personal evolution
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And if we start to fuel all those quadrants every single day, making sure that we're successful
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in our health, making sure we're successful in our relationships, making sure we're successful
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in our own personal evolution, we will have undeniably more professional success as well
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so I'm going to break down each one of these letters in the acronym so beginning with mindfulness
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mindfulness isn't just doing yoga and meditation those are activities of mindfulness mindfulness
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is learning to see your your life playing out like a movie literally looking down on your own
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life and watching it play out and recognizing that you are the writer producer director and
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lead actor of this movie that's playing out. You can change the script at any moment. That is in
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your control and your power. Yes, things can happen outside of us. Yes, we've all experienced it just
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in the past few months and we're living it right now as we're doing this virtually. However, we
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still get to have control of how we see it, how we respond to it, and how we learn and grow from it
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We get to change and pivot when things are not right or uncomfortable or aligned
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We still have that ability in our control. And so when we learn to watch our life play out like a movie and we understand that we are the writer, director, producer and lead actor and we can change the script whenever we want, then we can assume more personal responsibility
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Personal responsibility is one of the most important parts of characteristics that you need in order to become more successful and more happy and fulfilled throughout your life
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We need to become more mindful of our beliefs. I talked about this earlier, and I could speak about beliefs for hours because it's such an incredible part of human behavior
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And it's one of the most important key factors in people living to their greatest potential and the life that they desire
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But for now, because of time's sake, I'm going to break it down in a couple of important ways for you to learn quickly
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Our beliefs control our habits, which controls our outcomes. And I'll show you this right here
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We need to first become aware that there's a belief that we have
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or beliefs that we have that we need to change, or we become aware that there's outcomes in our life that we are not liking
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things that are not happening the way that we like them to happen. What typically happens, if you look at this chart here
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is people skip the belief part, and they try to just change the habits to change the outcomes
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It doesn't work that way. It can for a short period of time. The great example of this is why on January 1st, every single year, the gyms are packed. By January 21st, it's back to the people that were there already in October, November and December
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Why is that year after year? So many people have great intentions with great goals
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This is it. This is my year. I'm getting to the gym five, six days a week. I'm going to get to my perfect fitness shape and where I want to be and eating healthy
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And then they use willpower to change their habits. They use motivation to change their habits, to try to change their outcomes
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there's a huge difference between motivation and transformation this is huge part of human behavior
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there's a big difference between motivation and changing your outcomes versus transforming who
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you are to change your outcomes motivation is only igniter to change it's only like igniting a fire
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but the fire has to keep going how do you keep the fire going and so most people try to use
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motivation for change. Motivation is willpower, changing the habits. Eventually, we will always
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default back to our old self, unless you transform who you are. You can only transform who you are by
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changing your beliefs first. So for example, in this, this gym example, if I hate exercise
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I think exercise is torturous, it's painful. I just can't stand doing it. And I think eating
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is completely depriving, it's punishment, it's terrible. And then I am using forceful change in behavior
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I'm using willpower in order to get to the gym every day and eat healthy
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Eventually, I'm going to go back to my old self. However, if I change my beliefs around exercise and eating healthy, my habits then begin to
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start to align to my new belief, and then I transform who I am to have sustainable change
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to my outcomes. So if I change my beliefs around exercise to I love exercise
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I love how working out makes me feel. I love the energy that it gives me
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I love the productivity that I get on the days that I work out
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I'm so much more productive and I really value being productive. And I love eating healthy because it makes me more energized and mentally clear and in a better mood
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And I love energy and being in a good mood. So I changed my belief around diet and exercise, and I added, I focused on a greater value of my change behavior
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Notice I said I love being productive. I value being productive. I value energy and mental clarity
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So we don't just change our beliefs. We attach a new value, a new greater value of the change behavior than the old behavior
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So this is a process you can use over and over and over again
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How do we begin figuring out what beliefs are sabotaging us? Well, you begin by looking at whatever outcomes you have in your life right now that you do
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not like, that you are not proud of, that you are not happy about, that you would like
31:39
to improve. Think about this for a moment. I'm going to pause so you can write this down
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What outcomes do you have in your life right now that you don't like? Outcomes around your professional achievement, around money, around success
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How about your outcomes around relationships? All different types of relationships. Are your relationships in harmony
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Are your relationships constantly in a state of drama, toxic, falling apart
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How about your health? Is it optimal? Or could you make improvements
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and if you can make improvements, what are the beliefs that you have that you need to change
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Think about all aspects of your life, what outcomes you have right now that you don't like
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and write them down. And then after this, use this process that I'm teaching you right now
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Identify the outcome and then start to evaluate what beliefs do I have that are holding me back
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What are the beliefs that I have around money or success? What are the beliefs that I have around my professional achievement and climbing the ladder to where I want to go
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Start to evaluate those beliefs. And remember, a lot of the beliefs aren't necessarily your beliefs
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They're beliefs that were programmed in you when you were a child as well
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And we start to extract those, evaluate and extract those. Now, here's the next step of the process
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Once you identify the beliefs that you have that are holding you back, you flip the belief
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to create a new belief, just like I did with the gym example. One of the biggest beliefs that I had that was holding me back from greater success
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was I had a tremendous fear of failure because I believed if I failed, I was a failure
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The reason I believe this is because my dad was in the military
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And the saying, the belief that we can't fail, failure is not an option
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was constantly said in my home, failure is not an option. Well, guess what? I understand that
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on a battlefield. But if you teach a child with good self-preservation skills that failure is not
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an option, that child is only going to do what they're good at, which is what I did. Only what
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I was good at. Only what was natural for me, which means I wasn't trying things that I potentially
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could fail at, which means that you're not hitting your potential because we have to be
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uncomfortable in order to grow But I was so afraid that if I failed at something I was a failure and I would get in trouble So when I recognized this belief that I had that was holding me back tremendously from living my life at a greater capacity of my potential I had to flip the belief
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So my new belief was I have more fear of regret than failure
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That was my new belief. I have more fear of regret than I have a failure
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Now, here's the process, right? You identify the belief that you were the outcome that you don't like
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You identify the belief that's attached to it. Then you flip the belief
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Once you flip the belief, this becomes your new affirmation or mantra
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So I had to say that to myself over and over and over again. It is called creating new neural pathways in your brain
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This is truly programming your brain. So I would say that relief over and over again
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I have more fear of regret than I have a failure. And I added to it to failure is just part of the process on the journey to success
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I value success. And I had to recognize that failure is just part of that process
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Everyone who's successful has failed. It's just what they've done with the failure
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They've looked at the failure. They've grown from the failure. They learned from the failure, but they kept moving forward
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Failure is just failure when you stop. so I say this to myself over and over and over again for every day for months until eventually
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just became who I am I don't need to think about that anymore I look at something that is
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something uncomfortable and I get excited I'm actually now really uncomfortable with being
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comfortable when I see something that I could potentially fail at I actually look and say well
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let me figure this out because that means I'm going to grow and I'm going to evolve. So it's a new belief that I programmed in my brain that now just I don't even have to think about it
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And so that's how we create new programming in our brain. I just broke it down for you
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I'm going to break it down again. Identify the outcomes you don't like. Identify the beliefs that are attached to it
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Flip the old belief to a new belief that's more powerful for you in alignment with your goals
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and then say that new belief over and over and over and over again until you program it in your
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brain so it creates strong new neural pathways which weakens and overrides the old belief the
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old programming and this is what i just said in order to create true change one must create
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a greater value for the new behaviors to replace the old behaviors. So here's just a quick auditing
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checklist of how to become more mindful. Becoming more mindful of the thoughts you're thinking
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the words that you're choosing, what you're doing in your free time, what are you reading? Is it
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high quality? Is it helping you in alignment with your goals? Or is it taking away from your goals
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becoming more mindful of our feelings the people we're surrounding ourselves are they helping us
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or hurting us are they uplifting us or tearing us down do they want us to grow and evolve or they
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want us to stay stuck where they are and also mindful about the foods that you're eating and
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how it's affecting how you feel now normally when i do longer trainings i break these down even more
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but use this as your checklist am i having high quality thoughts high quality words high quality
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people, high quality habits, and high quality discipline for my body, which we're breaking
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down right now, which is the L. Optimization of your physiological state supports your
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mental and emotional state. There is a lot of things out of our control in life. This
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is one thing in our control is how we treat our bodies and how we treat our bodies affects
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how we feel. Here's a quick auditing list for the optimization of your body and brain
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Are you getting consistent, high quality sleep? Is that a priority to you? If it's not, it should be
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Because rest, sleep is rejuvenation of your body and brain. And without that, I had that belief
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I don't have time to sleep. Well, I found myself sick at 27 years of age
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I found myself really working really hard in order just to sustain who I am because I abused my body by overworking over exercising and not sleeping enough
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Are we consistently staying hydrated? Are we consistently staying active? How are we eating
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This is something I talk about also for hours. But is what you're eating hurting you or helping you
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Is it making your brain optimal or is it sabotaging your brain's capacity
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This is time hacking right here. All of this is time hacking
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And so the biggest thing about food is that what you want to do to have
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sustainable energy every day is keep your blood sugar stable, which means that you're eating protein bases as well as high quality fats
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consistently through your meals. What you want to be careful of is carbs
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Carbs actually make your body on an insulin roller coaster, which means your blood sugar is up and down, which affects your moods, affects your brain
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and affects how you're able to think clearly, have a good memory, and good emotional state
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One of the worst sabotagers of your best efforts is sugar. I know a lot of people don't like to
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hear that, but sugar will sabotage your best plan for the day. So I'm not saying never eat sugar
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again, but think about eating as an athlete in business so that you can have more sustainable
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energy, more mental clarity and work smarter than harder. The other ones in the other column
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also very important, why massage and reflexology is there is, is basically, we need a detox strategy
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as well. So even if we're eating healthy, there's still chemicals and external environmental toxins
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that will constantly build up in our bodies. So we don't just think about what we're putting in
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we also have to think about how are we constantly detoxing the toxins in our bodies
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The next is responsive versus reactive life. This is about learning how to control your emotional state
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There is a movie called The Way of the Peaceful Warrior that is one of my favorite movies ever
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where it's like Karate Kid. There's a master and a student. The student is very young and arrogant and ego-driven and wants to learn the way he wants to learn
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And the master, one day the student freaks out and the master says, fools react, warriors respond
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And I thought, wow, that's amazing. That like really sums up every aspect of learning how to respond to life versus react
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So I'm quickly going to go through a couple of these mindset shifts that you can apply instantly to your life
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Nothing has meaning until you give it meaning. nothing has meaning until you give it meaning you are the meaning maker of your life my childhood
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story i told you people say oh jen i'm so sorry you had such a terrible childhood and i say no no
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no that's great my childhood gave me resiliency adaptability the ability to thrive and stand on
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my own two feet which is why i became successful that's the meaning i gave to my childhood change
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every story in your life right now that you gave a meaning to that's hurting you and give it a
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meaning that helps you. My brother, same exact childhood, only 11 months older than me, gave
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our childhood a victim story. And now he has a victim life. Our lives are very different because
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of the story and the meaning he gave it. So change the story. And every day moving forward, remember
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when somebody does something to you, when something happens, what is the meaning you're giving it
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Is it hurting you or helping you? If you give it a meaning that's hurting you, that's on you
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That's that self-responsibility piece I told you about earlier. Next is hurt people hurt people
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Happy people don't. When people are being mean and rude, just realize that they're probably in their own self-loathing or self-pain and walk away
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Don't let it affect you. Recognize this. Every child learned this. Grade school, middle school, high school would have been a lot easier for everybody
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The next is we have control of one thing only in this world, and it is our perspective
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You get to choose how you view the world by the meanings that you give it You are in charge of that What you focus on expands Are you focusing on negative things and what wrong all the time are you focusing more on what right this is where gratitude
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practice comes in the more we focus on what's right the more we will get of what is right in
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our lives expectations this could be another 30 minutes of the presentation but expectations of
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others is the number one thing that causes self-inflicted pain. Expecting others to think
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like you, act like you, and be like you causes you your own pain. Letting go of those expectations
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of other people to think like you, act like you, and be like you will bring such an incredible
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amount of happiness in your life. Now, quick part of that, when you're in relationship with somebody
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on an ongoing basis, then you clarify your expectations and make sure that those expectations
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are agreed upon to have better, more harmonious relationships. Mastery in all relationships
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begins when we stop needing to be right and seek to understand the other person better
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And lastly, excelling in all aspects of life. Nothing in life is exclusive. Everything is
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interconnected, your health, your finances, relationships, and personal growth. If one area
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of your life is suffering and affects the others, this is why I said earlier to constantly nurture
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and nourish all four key quadrants of your life on a daily basis. I cannot tell you how many people
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I see in their midlife crisis because they focused on only their professional achievement
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They ignored their health, they ignored their relationships, and they ignored their self-growth
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and really being connected to who they are and what makes them happy and feeling fulfilled
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And they find themselves in midlife very unhappy, very unfulfilled, even though they might be really successful
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Their relationships are falling apart. They might be going through a divorce. Their kids are going off to college
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They don't even know who they are because they were so focused on only one core quadrant of their life
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And once that wheel falls off the bus, all the other wheels start to fall off the bus too
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Lastly, I said this earlier, growth equals happiness. And here's how to stay connected with me. The more method is now available of the book, the more method on Amazon. But I post a lot about these types of topics of human behavior on Facebook, on Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube
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but if you want to keep learning I always will share this kind of information for everybody to
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to continue evolving who they are and up leveling their potential I am now out of time but I want to
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thank you all for being part of this today I was excited to be invited to to join you all
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with everybody all over the world and look forward to say connected to many of you
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Thank you so much, Jen, for being with us today. And also not only for sharing your knowledge, but to really giving meaning to your presentation by sharing your personal story
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I love it how you opened up to the audience and how you spoke up and especially how you dealt with it and how you made a change and how you are making a change
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I even have a little bit of goosebumps because your session was really very inspirational
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You really inspired me as well. And I truly hope all the other people who are watching that they also really feel empowered by your session
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And especially also you really made me realize the huge difference, like you said, between motivation and transformation
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And, yeah, so thank you so much for being with us, for giving your presentation
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Thank you. I'm glad that it made an impact. I'm glad that you feel like you've definitely benefited from it
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And I hope everybody else does too. Yeah. Thank you so much. And good luck with the heat wave
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I hope you can get out and cool down a little bit. Thank you
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I'm going to the beach. So I'll cool down at the beach. Enjoy the beach
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Thank you. Thank you so much, Jen. Bye. Bye
#Fitness Instruction & Personal Training